Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
accomplished twins. life is a go
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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