Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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