That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
