true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
