i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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