So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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