i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
