Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
