Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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