I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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