Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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