She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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