I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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