Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize