He kissed a someone with a penis
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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