This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
