were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
