I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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