My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
well you can't waste a boner
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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