I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
