Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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