oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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