Sponge bath it is.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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