We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
