I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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