Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
