I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
