can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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