Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
