he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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