Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
