Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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