Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Randomize
