that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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