Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
