make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize