How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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