White coat. Heels.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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