my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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