He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
