You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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