just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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