At least make sure they are 18
Why
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
