so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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