If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
