Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
