question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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