You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
