An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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