The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
