Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
