I could have mohawked her pubes.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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