my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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