my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
