I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
