My sheets look like a crime scene.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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