Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
