literally had 100 drinks last night.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
