My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
