she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize