Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He passed out mid-signature
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
