Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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