well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
