i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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