So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
