I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just threw up on my dentist
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
