Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
