does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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